Values – of yesterday – everyday poetry 177

Values – of yesterday
– prompt by Rick – an Air Force Vet

Wednesday, March 11, 2015 @ 12:01:18

lifes unpredicted circumstances
my sleep time at 0430 maybe
the nightmares playing on the eyelids like a horror movie U cant stop
and to go back
to when I was a little blonde boy
buck toothed and glasses
a constant dazed look on my face
always confused
and I did not start smoking weed until I was 8
but perplexed by all the ambiguities I had to figure out

and the help
the assistance
getting slapped across the face
knocked into the floor
half a bucked tooth missing
and guess what
another confused look
after my dad tells me
don’t look at your mother like that

I could not figure out what she was telling me to do
I just did not get it
I just lay there bleeding
from the tooth
the nerve ending now raw
that was bothersome for years
never was fixed until I went into the Corps
well, they of course did put braces on the children of the base commander first
after all – it was they who were serving our country
oh, wait
they were too young to serve
that’s right, it was I who was serving, but was again sent to the back of the line for the rich

maybe that is one reason why I hate the rich
I don’t really hate people, just evil people who are abusive etc
yes I hate all evil people
I hate their “sins” and I hate them
and U know what
FUCK THEM
I wish they would all just vanish
I wish they would be evaporated
I am sick and tired of suffering pain from them – the sick pieces of shit
And furthermore I wish i did not feel this way
but it is that it is, and I hate that too
Not that I ever hated myself more than I do today
Equal with the many other days, months, and years I have hated myself for allowing people to commit crimes againgst me and still can’t do a goddamned thing about it
My values from yesterday

I don’t know what the fuck, sometimes – like now, I feel so fucking lost, I don’t know exactly just what to do

I want to run
And nowhere to run to
I am tired of people saying they want to help me, but they absolutely can’t – just maybe with some trivial shit, do I try anymore – that is a question
12:14:18

stumped

stumped – find the dream of the skid row artist – U know an artist depends on you to make him or her an artist – through patronage, through support – so if U know someone, share this with them, if it is U too – peace and love – & – stay tuned, i may be posting other segments related to this one

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