i have been just trying to hold on, but the other day, i was fortunate enough to spend time with some of my Vet family – and our fearless leader – adopted Vet family (her Dad is a Vet of Korean War) and we had Rick, Wes, Lucy and Boa – it was good therapy
here is what i wrote in our 20 minute timed writing, i think it was 20
trudging into the depth of a shallow day (because Rick said he was having a shallow day after Leilani said we were going to write on something deep today! so, Leilani told us to write down five character traits and write a character from it, i may have strayed a bit!
131307 on may 18,2016
trudging into the depth of a shallow day
trudging into the depth of a shallow day
way frayed and the brain stayed on the depth of the plutonic worm whole
reeling she did to fit the bags into the car
and he decided not to help her
i love to watch people struggle he said
a little off balance she embraced him with a smile and a hug
your such a character
why would U just watch me struggle to fit all these bags in the back of the vehicle
i know what struggle is he said, and i just love to watch to see the various character that comes out when others are doing so!
it is not the depth of what i have and do struggle with
in fact, it is rather light!
it is just me studying nature
but you have given me the shirt of your back she said
i know, that was to the joy of everything wonderful in life
and i shall continue to do so.
U my love are a very independent woman, and i love that about U
in your exercise of the bags in the vehicle, i noticed that you did not cuss but once
that was with the 30 pound bag of charcoal, where you looked back at me with a why in the fuck are you not getting this for me!
but all the other bags you pushed them, stacked them, rearranged them, and basically just stuffed them all into the position that you needed to put them in, so that the last item, the charcoal could go into the car. i could have easily put that into the car, with one hand even, but inviting you to do the boys job, if you will, in our culture of mis-assignments to tasks that are gender specific, it was very nice to see you do what you could do but what you would rather of had me to do.
you picked it up at the edges, you lost your grip to where the bag fell off the edge of the vehicle and all the way down to the ground. i started to walk toward the car to do the chore for you, but when you looked back at me with every bit of determination, that is what i love about you. when you did not say, but your body said it, fuck you, i got this motherfucker! (in the good way of course!)
is this the way you are giving to me today, she asked? indeed it is Brenda ( in a world where every girl you don’t know or are getting to know is brenda… or)
Well, at least i know that about you now, said Brenda! i have learned so much about you in the past few days Billy Bob
that you love to get people to think, to use logic and to figure out their own puzzles. that you volunteer, and do what you can to make peoples lives better in your own capacity, and that you dive into the depth of life’s complexities for solutions and to make easier roads not only for yourself, but for others.
why don’t we do something relaxing while your guests are taking care of all the barbecued food and putting everything together Brenda asked
that sounds good, how about a movie with just me and you and the other 17 people who will not be doing anything much, if they wish to join us.
sounds good she said, i have the plain air popped corn here, and the colonels if people want to pop fresh corn at your place
perfect, i love my corn hot or warm with olive oil and garlic powder, maybe a bit of oregano
Brenda has been going out with you for 2 days now Billy Bob, how do you like her, his mother asked. Well mom, i am glad you made it, and i think she is very similar in spirit to me, she loves people, fairness and justice, and she takes my facetiousness well, knowing when i am joking – as well as that i am a giver in this journey to the broader road to civility.